Kipper's Story

by Kipper

Dear teenager who’s going through something like I did,

My name is Kipper (that was my nick name growing up), I want to tell you about my story so you know what to look out for to keep yourself safe.

I loved football. Football in the winter, cricket in the summer. I think I was pretty talented at it. I found a decent club in the area that might further my development. I had a couple of sessions and really enjoyed it so decided to stay and play for the team.

I would be excited all week. Make sure my kit and boots were clean on the Saturday and Up early on a Sunday for the games. Winning was just icing on the cake.

That’s when my coach started to home in on me, I was naïve, a kid, I didn’t know what to look out for. So, here are the signs that something might not be quite right if you ever find yourself in a similar position:

• He was really friendly with my mum and my dad and he started trying to win the trust of everyone around me. This doesn’t mean that something is definitely wrong but tell your parents if you don’t feel safe around another adult, especially if you have been with them by yourself.
• He started giving me gifts, boots and kit. He was trying to win me over and create a reason to control me. It is not right for someone in a position of power to treat others more favourably. Gifts are great but make sure that it’s okay to accept them.
• There were rumours that were flying around about him, I now know there was a reason behind that. If you hear rumours or gossip, don’t be scared to let someone know (there are ways you can do this confidentially). It is better to make sure that no one is in harm’s way than to not do anything.
• But most importantly, no one is allowed to touch you without your permission.

In short, please, be cautious, be careful. Speak to your parents. If you can’t, google it, there was no internet in my day, I couldn’t research or find someone to talk to, but you are able to, find a service who can help deal with these things… and please… don’t be embarrassed.

I know it doesn’t feel like it now and I know you have a lot going on, but embarrassment is just the concern of what people will think, and those people’s though is that they want you to be safe.

But I was frightened of telling people and got caught in his web.

I had figured out it was wrong. It made me feel minimal. I felt despair. But I couldn’t move one way or another. It made me feel so angry.

For 3 or 4 years I was stuck. It got harder and harder to speak out. If I said something, who was going to run the team? Would I get him sacked? Were people going to say that I was seeking attention? I didn’t know.

There was only one way could escape the web; I stopped playing football.

Football was my life, I met all of my mates playing football, it was how I spent all my time. I missed it terribly, but I didn’t feel like I had any choice, I needed to get away from him.

I don’t think I realised the impact that it had on my life until later.

Find support, find a network, there is light at the end of the tunnel. Find someone, someone you can trust. It took me 30/40 years to speak out. But the sooner you speak out, the sooner you can regain your confidence.

Stay safe and all the best,

Kipper.